Fit to Be Tied

CW: surgery, reproductive talk. Probably other medical stuff, knowing me.

So long, right ovary. I hardly knew ye.

In all fairness, if you had opted to get with the program and stop misbehaving, my very nice and knowledgeable surgeon wouldn’t be going after you.

By next week we should know what is in the errant cyst on my right side. My doctor thinks it’s an endometrial cyst. I am honestly wondering if it has something to do with my other mystery cysts, such as the one in my spleen. If the lab finds something weird like mast cells, I wouldn’t be surprised at all.

Anyhow, even if I wanted to have another child, this haunted house of a body would never be able to carry a baby to term. So I’m having the surgeon tie my tubes at the same time.

There was a period of mourning about not being able to have another child, even though after my only son was about five I didn’t want to have another baby. I mean, my OBGYN at the time of Eddie’s birth said I “wasn’t built for” childbirth. So if I ever had another baby, I should schedule a c-section proactively.

Recovery from my c-section was pretty lengthy. So if I’d wanted to have another kid, I definitely would have had to do so when I was younger and significantly less disabled.

Besides, we have Frank and the other fur babies. Frank is the size of a toddler.

A large orange and white cat with green eyes looks up at the camera. He is laying on his back with his paws in the air
Furry toddler, Frank

The OBGYN doesn’t want me going through menopause early so he’s just taking the malfunctioning ovary right now. An ovary removal on just one side is called a unilateral oophorectomy. I keep joking that the doc is going in to retrieve an Oompa Loompa.

Truly hoping this recovery is not as involved or as painful as the septum surgery last month. I’m finally able to sleep propped up on less than three pillows without my face aching, just in time for this next procedure.

And of course, back surgery for the surprise scoliosis will only have a projected time frame after a follow up this summer. They want to confirm how fast my spine is twisting since they just discovered the extent of what they call the “spinal deformity” last year. I think from now on I’ll request they use the phrase “lack of structural integrity” instead. I’m not deformed, I’m just different.

Then again, it seems my septum didn’t form in a way that was conductive to optimal breathing. It’s almost as if a lot of my issues are connected. I keep getting rare symptoms and diagnoses, and then my primary says I can’t have certain syndromes because they are rare.

Been there, done that.

Allegedly the autonomic lab at The University of Utah is going to call to schedule with me soon. In all likelihood I imagine they are quite swamped, and I will have to call them.

I’m looking for a way to tie this all together but I have to get some forms submitted to coordinate care for my kid, since I will likely be out of it for the remainder of the week.

So hopefully things go well tomorrow and I’ll catch you folks on the flip side. I will leave you with my favorite Kenny Loggins jam as of late…

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